Closer to the Edge

People are never perfect, so you will not always get along with the person who cares about you. Sometimes you will be frustrated, or feel ignored, or accidentally ignore them, or fight. Mistakes will be made, because hey, we’re all human. But then time passes, and if you can, you rectify the situation. Because that’s what you do with people who truly matter.

Sometimes a person who once cared for you stops caring. Maybe they wanted to end your relationship, be it romantic, platonic, or familial. Maybe you did something wrong, or distance separated you, or they changed as a person. Sometimes you bond with someone, or do something for them, or have a heart-to-heart, and they care for you once more. Caring is a fluid thing that can change over time. But there are also some people who never really cared for you, people who you know will never care for you, no matter what you do.

It’s scary how people leave scars on you; how certain people will never really vanish from the thoughts in your mind. I mean, I don’t think I will ever get over you. It’s not that I’m sad about us; but, sometimes in the middle of the day, out of nowhere, I hear your sentence quoted. I hear one of your phrases, loud in my mind, and I feel the way it goes all the way down to my heart again, destroying me like a tsunami. It overcomes you slowly. It’s like I get thrown back into the sea, and waves of my thoughts are crashing over me. I don’t know how I am supposed to get over a person, and you don’t have to. You can still cry after months about it. Even when you’re married and endlessly happy with that person, you should be able to cry about your first love. Not because you’re still in love with them, even if a little part still is, but because you will always love what you once loved. You learn to understand it. With every new moment and experience in your life, you start to understand, piece by piece, what was happening back then.

—Elay Neal Moses (via coachela)

(via slayerrrrr)